Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What happened to fro yo and sex?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize