Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
