well you can't waste a boner
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
