Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
