Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
