People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
