Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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