All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
