he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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