I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
