Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Actions speak louder than pants.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
