I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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