suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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