Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
