this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Randomize