Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
