Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
