Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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