don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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