I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
