Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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