Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize