yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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