i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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