How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
