That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
