why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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