Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
