Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
