Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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