girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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