Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
