DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
