I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
