Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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