Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
