He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
