can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
