I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize