I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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