I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
