He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize