So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
