We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
