Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
