3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
