dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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