You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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