I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize