Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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