Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
