Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i think we sleep fucked last night...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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