Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
