Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
