i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
